


would we still be us?

by allforconniebonacieux



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator: Dark Fate
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Angst, Day 5: Past Lives/Killing Eve AU, Drace Week 2020, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allforconniebonacieux/pseuds/allforconniebonacieux
Summary: Drace Week 2020Day 5: Past Lives/ Killing Eve AUIn the comfort of Commander Ramos' bunk, two lovers discuss what their lives would be like if they met under different circumstances.
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30
Collections: Drace Week





	would we still be us?

**Author's Note:**

> way later than I thought I would be with this, but I actually had to uni work today and I got so annoyed at someone I spent an hour writing a very specific 'general' response to feedback on my play idea that I probably won't delete when I next submit my idea. 
> 
> This is in the vein of Past Lives and more in the sense of Past World and more in the style of a hopeful inevitable true love/soulmates story that could honestly work better for tomorrow if I had actually remembered to include soulmates, but also they're talking about the pre-Legion world so that's a past life, it's fine, its' chill.
> 
> It's now 10pm and I've been up since 4am, so I'm going to post and pass out for as long as possible. Peace.

Tucked in the bowels of the Resistance main base, in the wing reserved for the higher ranked officers, the Commander lay with her lover. Nestled together as close as possible to fight the chill of the room that contrasted greatly with the being put off by Grace, Dani tucked her feet between Grace’s calves, doubling down on the shiver that ran through Grace’s body by rubbing her chilled nose onto her sternum. It was funny, Grace couldn’t feel the cold in the same way as non-Augmented people did. She ran too hot with the power source and circuitry inside her, but the effect of Dani’s cold toes was the same as before. 

She smiled against Grace’s chest, resting her head in the crook of her lover's neck. It was nice, moments like these. The small intimate moments in the peace of each other’s arms. A haven from the endless strategy meetings and mission reports and the constant threat of death. Relaxing into her arms, she traced one of the scars on Grace’s bicep with a fingertip. Underneath her, she felt Grace soften, a huff of air exhaled from her nose tickled Dani’s hair.

Grace broke the peaceful silence they had found.

‘What do you think it would have been like, if we met before Legion?’ 

She didn’t normally talk about the previous world, not really remembering much and not wanting to talk of what she did, so the question threw Dani, for just a moment. Her finger paused in it’s delicate sweeping up-and-down pattern on Grace’s arm before resuming.

‘What do you mean?’ 

Grace wasn’t one for talking much, her sentimentality limited quite often only to these precious moments and memories with Dani, so it took a few moments for her to formulate the specific words that had been plaguing her mind, gradually building over the past few days.

‘If we’d met, before Legion happened. Would we still have each other? Would we still be us?’

Dani’s finger stopped again and she didn’t resume the motion, putting thought into what exactly Grace was asking. Deciding a teasing approach might gauge what was going on better, she shifted up onto her elbow, moving the sheets and bringing a draught of cold air under the blankets. She pressed tightly to Grace’s side, minimising the new gap in their cocoon.

‘Well, if we’d met before Legion happened, you were only twelve, _querido_ , a child. If we met before then I think I would have been locked up, if I started befriending a child’

Grace smiled slightly, gazing up at her lover.

‘You know what I mean.’ She got slightly more serious. ‘If Legion didn’t happen and I grew up like a normal kid.’

Seeing there was more to Grace’s mood, Dani played along. It wasn’t an unfamiliar thought, she had to be honest. In the long years between being thrown into the madness of Terminators and world-destroying AI and the current situation of constant pushing in a war that also had to fight the futile feeling many of her soldiers felt, she had thought about what her life might have been like. Diego and Papi, their dog, Taco wouldn’t have died. How long would she have been working at Arius Motors before being replaced? Would Diego have made a name for himself as a singer? Would she have crossed paths with Sarah, would she have found a calling in leadership and helping people, more than just negotiating with her employers to not take every opportunity to replace their human workforce?

‘Of course there’d be an us. Is this a world where Legion never existed or a world where they did but I stopped it?’

‘Let’s say never existed.’ Grace rolled onto her side as well, facing Dani. In turn, Dani dropped her elbow so they were face to face on the pillow.

‘Well it might have been harder for us to meet, in that case. The only reason I came to America was because we were escaping the Terminator.’ 

The ‘we’ is a touchy subject for the two of them, a reminder of the inevitable day that Dani loses Grace once again. She had met a Grace, a Grace very similar to the one in her bed right now when she was being attacked by the Rev-9 in 2020. That Grace had died and a few years later she had met a younger Grace, this Grace. It hadn’t been fair to leave Grace in the dark about something so significant in her life, that the only reason Dani was there was because Grace had saved her and likely would do so again in her own respective future. It would have been selfish to deny Grace the knowledge that in another time she had chosen to sacrifice herself for Dani’s safety. Selfish because not telling Grace wouldn’t change the fact that Grace would do it again without question. By telling her she at least had the knowledge that she always thought Dani was worth dying for. 

Dani didn’t like talking about the time she saw a future version of her love die in the past, and similarly Grace wasn’t a huge fan of rehashing the facts. She would die for Dani time after time and it was obvious they were fast approaching that point in her timeline. One mention of the Resistance's planned Chronal Manipulator, or time machine, as everyone called it outside of the paperwork, and it was a matter of time until it was working.

‘Okay, so maybe, I grew up to be a doctor or something?’

‘Really?’ Dani looks bemused. ‘I never knew you wanted to be a doctor.’ 

Grace huffed a laugh.

‘My impeccable bedside manner didn’t give me away? I wanted to be everything when I was a kid. Maybe an engineer or something. I like putting things together, making things work.’ 

Dani could see that. Grace, tall- taller even, without the few years of malnutrition she suffered- muscled from hauling around heavy parts all day, covered in grease, but not excessively, like she’d rolled in it, just a few artful dabs of it here and there...

‘I could also have been an electricity pole, my dad always said. Said if I didn’t stop growing that’s how tall I would be,’ Grace continued, mock thoughtful. Dani shut her eyes and chuckled a little.

‘Okay, so you’re a hotshot engineer. When do we meet? Remember, I was pushing thirty when you were graduating high school. Not much opportunity for us to meet, especially without people assuming nefarious motives on my part.’

Grace furrowed her brow, digging into vague memories from a very different time.

‘How about a...conference? Those were a big deal right? Big companies getting people together to talk about how great they are all and how everyone else is shit?’ 

Dani ducked her head and smiled at that fairly accurate understanding of the concept. 

‘That’s it, pretty much.’ 

Grace nodded.

‘Okay cool. So I work for a company, I’m starting out but I’m doing very well, I get sent to a conference in Mexico and you’re there. You’re not working on the factory floor anymore, haven’t for years. You were basically running the show anyway, even when you were on the floor. But you’re at this conference speaking to everyone about the dangers of replacing humans for the sake of profit.’ She looked into Dani’s eyes, seeking approval for her suggestion.

Dani pondered it for a moment, mulling it over.

‘I can see that. Hmm. Maybe I moved on from Arius Motors, leading a union for worker protection or a non-profit.’ She nods to herself. After years of running an army she has to admit she suits leadership, to an extent. She craves the moments when she can defer and take orders from someone else (Grace) for a change. ‘I’m speaking and you come to my talk and the second you see me you fall madly in love.’

Grace laughs this time, wrapping an arm around Dani’s wasit under the covers, trying ever so slightly to pull her closer, an impossible task.

‘Obviously. Some things are true in any universe.’ 

The ‘we are’ goes unspoken, but they both feel it between them.

‘You get the chance to talk to me afterwards, some mingling event, and I’m charmed by this tall gringa who keeps tripping over herself-’

‘Hey.’

‘Grace, it took you a while to become as, well, graceful as you are. You used to trip over nothing when you joined the Resistance.’ Dani couldn’t help teasing. It had been very endearing, the young teen desperately trying to keep up with the more experienced members of their ragtag militia.

Grace pouted for a second before conceding, knocking her head into Dani’s collarbone momentarily. 

‘Okay, fair enough. So I’m head over heels for you- do I take you to dinner?’ 

Dani shakes her head.

‘I take _you_ out to dinner. I probably know the area much better than TripAdvisor would have told you. We have a nice meal, good food, good company, candles. We stay until they close and then we go back to mine-’

‘Sex on the first date?’ Grace fakes a scandalised tone, drawing another melodious laugh out of the older woman. ‘What kind of woman do you take me for Ms Ramos?’

‘In this scenario, I take you for a young twenty something professional being seduced by a ravishing older woman.’ Dani pushed lightly on Grace’s chest, rolling on top of her in a motion that was welcomed heartily. Placing gentle kisses the length of Grace’s neck, up her jawline and to the point just below her ear, she continues. ‘We’re both adults, _very_ sexual beings with a lot of chemistry...in this world I don’t see why we’d be able to keep our hands off of each other.’

Placing more pointed kisses now, alternating with small nips from her teeth, she gently tugged on Grace’s earlobe with her teeth. The woman in question took this all happily, moving her hands to stabilise Dani atop of her, on her back and rear. Respectfully, of course.

‘If you like,’ Dani whispered, ‘I can even show you _exactly_ what we would do.’

A groan fought its way out of Grace’s chest and she reluctantly rolled Dani over, holding her wrists above her head, placing herself carefully over her lover so she wouldn’t crush her. She pecked her on the lips.

‘Later. I want to know, how do we work it out afterwards? When the conference is done?’

It was Dani’s turn to huff at the distraction, but she obliged.

‘We would probably try long distance, visit each other as much as we can. Maybe take more opportunities for business trips so we can meet up. One of us would have to move to the other, eventually.’

‘I’d move to you.’ Grace doesn’t hesitate, gazing down into Dani’s eyes. 

‘Mm. I hope your as certain on that when I tell you that I probably also met Sarah in this world, one way or another.’

Grace’s eyes widened comically. Dani giggled at the look.

‘Oh god, no.’

‘Hush, she’s family, _querido_.’ Grace tips her head forehead and shakes her head, shaggy blonde hair tickling the swells of Dani’s breasts. She laughed again at the sensation.

‘If you insist, love.’ Grace lifted her head, and Dani got lost for a moment in her lover's eyes. Piercing and off-putting to so many others when she struck them with a glare, Dani could see the depths of Grace’s soul in them. They were nothing but love.

‘I do. But I promise, we make it work. We make the world better, we make each other better. We’re happy. No Terminators, no war. Just us, a house somewhere quiet, a dog. Sarah, Diego and Papi come visit, but most nights it’s just the two of us.’

Dani saw tears welling up above her. Moving her hands out of the imitation of restraint they were kept in she wiped them away, pulling Grace into with gentle soothing sounds. Grace resisted for a moment, still wanting to avoid crushing her, but Dani persisted and situated her lover curled into her side, head on her chest, weeping freely. She pressed kisses into Grace’s hair, whispering comfort, rubbed her back.

‘I want that life, Dani.’ Grace finally broke. ‘I want to have that house and to make you happy and propose to you. To argue over what couch cushions to get instead of whether or not a recon mission is an obvious death trap. I want to live with you.’

Dani understood what Grace’s mood over the past few days had been about.

‘You don’t want to die.’ She said simply. ‘It’s okay, Grace, shh. No one expects you to be the one that goes back, no one knows who saved me before. When it comes to selecting someone, we’ll do trials and-’

Grace’s head shoots up, almost violently. If Dani hadn’t shot her head back in time, her chin would have collided with the crown of the blonde head.

‘No!’ Grace looks betrayed by the very idea. ‘I’ll still do it. Dani, I can’t trust anyone else to be so willing to give their life for yours.’ She grabs one of Dani’s hands, holds it close to her chest. ‘I don’t want to leave you. But I can’t stay and put your safety in the hands of someone who doesn’t have the same motivation. You’re everything, Dani. I can’t risk someone failing.’

Dani scoots up the headboard a bit, pulling Grace with her, still curled into her side, clutching her hand.

‘That does make it harder to accept sometimes that I’ll never get those chances, to be in a normal relationship, do normal things’ Looking up into Dani’s face, Grace’s eyes are brighter with the tears, almost glowing with their vividness. ‘But if I do this, there’s a chance another Grace and another Dani do get that chance. They get the conference and the dinner date. They get to be Dani and Grace. Not the Commander and an Augment.’  
Dani wrapped an arm round Grace’s neck and held her tightly.

‘I understand.’ She placed a kiss onto her lips. ‘I understand completely.’

They sat there, holding onto each for a while, neither paying mind to the chill of the room, the blankets pooled around their waists.

Eventually, Grace came back to herself enough to make a half hearted crack at what might have happened after the dinner date. Dani smiled softly, seeing the attempt for distraction for what it was and obliging. Their lovemaking was unhurried, not the new lovers they pretended to be, but the gentle love of two souls sharing everything. It was only a few hours from the cruel reality of morning, and the responsibilities that fell onto both of them that came with it, but in that moment they had each other. That was enough.


End file.
